What Can I Do As A Parent?

  1. KNOW your children's friends, families, caregivers, youth group leaders, teachers, any person spending time alone with your child.

  2. TEACH your child names for their private parts, and that they have the right to say NO. Never make your child submit to physical contact if they do not want to.

  3. LISTEN when your child tells you he or she does not want to be with or go with someone else.

  4. UNDERSTAND that no one should want to be with your child more than you. When someone is showing your child too much attention, ask yourself why. Listen to your intuition.

  5. EXPLAIN to your child who a "someone" is, when you say to them, "Tell me if someone looks at or touches you on your private places."

  6. USE the word "Surprise" instead of "Secret" with your children. Teach them to tell you when any adults ask them to keep a secret.

  7. DO NOT put your child's first name on clothing or school books. This puts your child on a first name basis with anyone.

  8. HAVE a code word, that only you and your child know, to be used in an emergency.

  9. TELL your children that when away from home, if they feel scared or uncomfortable, they have the right to use the telephone without anyone's permission.

  10. BELIEVE your children if they say they have been abused. Encourage them to ask questions if they are confused or not sure if something is okay or not.

How To Talk To A Child About Abuse

  • Be patient, calm and supportive.

  • Keep in mind the child's developmental level. Talk on their level. Use their words for things and short, simple sentences. Say, "Tell me about what happened..."

  • Under-react. Listen without criticism, anger or judgment.

  • Watch your own non-verbal cues. Facial expression and body language.

  • Don't introduce or suggest names.

  • Don't press. When a child stops talking, you stop asking.

  • Don't make promises. Examples; "Everything will be okay." "I won't tell anyone." "You won't have to tell anyone else."

  • MAKE A REPORT TO EITHER OF THE FOLLOWING:
    Children's Protective Services: 1-800-252-5400 or local law enforcement.
    Abuse Indicators: ????

Sexual Abuse Indicators

Physical Abuse Indicators

Child's Behavior
  • Sexual Acting Out
  • Angry, Hostile, Aggressive
  • Change In Behavior. (outgoing becomes withdrawn)
  •  Nightmares, Bedwetting, Fear Of Dark
  • Reluctance Or fear Of A Person Or Of Certain Places
  • Change In School Grades, Or Attention Span
  • Advanced Sexual Knowledge And/Or Interest In Sexual Acts Or Terminology
  • Regression To Babyish Habits
  • Wary Of Physical Contact With Adults
  • Wears Long Sleeves Or Other Concealing Clothing (usually to hide injuries)
  • Child's Story Of How Injury Occurred Is Not Believable
  • Shows Little Or No Distress In Being Separated From Parents
  • Apt To Seek Affection From Any Adult
  • Constantly On Alert For Danger, Chronically Suspicious

Physical Signs
  • The Most Difficult Type Of Abuse To Detect Because There Are No Warning Signs
  • Irritated Or Reddened Genitals
  • Unusual Smell Or Discharge From Genitals
  • Unusual Bruises On Places Not Common With Childhood Injuries
  • Bite Marks
  • Unexplained Burns
  • Unexplained Fractures

Offender's Behavior
  • Extreme Over Protectiveness Toward Child
  • Extreme Parental Dominance In Home
  • Socially Isolated
  • Sexually Abused As Child
  • Interchange Of Mother And Daughter Roles
  • See Child As Seductive
  • Refer To Children In Sexual Manner
  • Use Gifts And Favors As A Way To Relate With Children
  • Invite Children Over To Their Home
  • History Of Abuse As Child
  • Unrealistic Expectations Of Child
  • Uses Harsh Discipline That Isn't Age, Condition Or Offense Appropriate
  • Seems Unconcerned About Child
  • Emphasizes Bad Qualities Instead Of Good Qualities Of Child
  • Seldom Looking At Or Touching Child
  • Showing No Concern About The Injury, Treatment Or Prognosis

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